Posted by Q (198.64.206.92) on January 23, 2000 at 15:55:29:
In Reply to: Memories. posted by drummer on January 23, 2000 at 06:09:05:
Dave,
As we don't know what CH is, how can you say that it started on such and such a day? Your records may indicate that your first CH-attack was on a particular day, but how much of the overall CH-process goes on outside of the acute attacks?
CH may have a long gestation period during which you may infact "have" CH, but are not aware of it.
Further, our perceptions and memories are very imperfect. As a group of individuals we form beliefs about CH and relate our experiences, strength and hopes to support those who suffer this common condition. We do not KNOW what CH is. There are ideas. We may be born with CH. CH may be almost anything or a bunch of similar things.
I wonder how many people can remember their 1st Virgin attack. I have to struggle to remember the pain, as my denial system is so strong that it keeps blocking the memory of the pain. Was that the very first attack or was it the first attack I remember?
Also, in my case, I have lived by myself for much of my life. The first attack that was witnessed by someone other than myself was the first one I ever discussed with someone. I felt shame in discussing the condition. I blackout from the pain, it seems quite frequently, but less so today. I had to struggle to discuss what I perceived as my memory did not encompass the entire event. Over time, I pieced together more and more of the CH-attack process, the CH-cycle process, and the overall CH-lifecycle. I do not know when or how the overall CH-process started.