Posted by Anne Thomas (208.250.109.224) on August 04, 1999 at 15:29:02:
In Reply to: I Am So Frustrated Right Now! posted by jen on August 04, 1999 at 14:41:48:
As a sufferer my advise is never to discuss treatment, doctors, medications or things related to the HAs. Discuss issues with him when he is comfortable. If he discounts you, humiliates, or screams at you then then the issues are not so much his medical disorder(s), rather than his ability to communicate in a committed relationship. If this man can not appreciate how much you care for him, and the research you have done you should re-evaluate the relationship. I got sick shortly after being married, had the brain tumor and cluster headaches, quickly followed by 2 pregnancies with Diabetes and a c-section all with in 3 yrs. If one person cannot appreciate the efforts that someone who loves him/her makes then there efforts should be with someone who appreciates them. If you plan on being with this person long-term consider counseling with him to better aid in communication, it is hell at times living with a cluster head, plans have to sometimes be cancelled at the last minute, we get snappy, depressed, isolated, resentful, but we are also usually empathitic, funny, and a bunch of other wonderful things. I would never allow any man to humilitate me in public, that is abusive, now imagine yourself there with 2 small children and no way home because he took the car. I do not doubt that you love this man, and you seem like such a bright, caring, sensitive young woman. If he won't go with you for some conseling consider it yourself as there seems to be so many issues to sort through and you could use some "tools" with this relationship. Love means the total committment to somone's total well being, and it needs to go both ways. As much as you seem to be looking out for his needs, please examine yours as well. I wish you the very best. Anne