Posted by Elizabeth (12.76.82.208) on December 11, 2001 at 13:43:43:
Today is a *great* day to be alive!
Today I think about my aunt, uncle and cousin, who are all quite ill and undergoing experimental treatments. Today is a great day for me to be thankful for all the good things in life.
Today I look at my father, the man who's opinion counted more than anything...today I look at my father and the new (3 days) growth just below his jaw, bigger than a golf ball today. Today is a great day to be alive because my Daddy's still here for me to tell him how much I love him.
Today my clothes are too tight...side effect of the lithium. Today is a great day to be alive because I have plenty to eat and drink.
Today the beast woke me out of a sound sleep....thrice (3 times). Today is a great day to be alive because I was actually able to fall asleep four times! (And even better because I get a queen-size bed to myself!)
Today I am almost out of abortive medicine. Today is a great day to be alive because I have friends who listen and care and are willing to let me bitch my way through the pain.
Today I am in cluster pain...today that pain will strike, then relent, repeating seemingly ad nauseam. Today is a great day to be alive because my pain is not constant.
Today I feel as if I am going to die...today the pain is so intense that I'm certain it will kill me. Today is a great day to be alive because I know that I will live, that these headaches alone will not kill me.
Today I am willing to admit that I am the ultra-emotional one...that I take it personally, that I notice small stuff, that I give a rat's butt, that I seem to cry at the drop of a hat... Today is a great day to be alive because I'm me.
Today I feel squashed by all the feelings inside me....today I laugh, then cry, then crack an enormously stupid joke. Today is a great day to be alive because I obviously am emotionally alive....
Today.... today I want to say "Thank you!" to all my friends here - for listening, supporting, commenting, laughing.....
Today is a *great* day to be alive!
Elizabeth
I am me.
I will always be a second-best somebody else.
I am the BEST me there is.