Posted by Brad W. (64.12.102.42) on August 12, 2001 at 23:16:37:
My family is sick and tired of me...it seems. I just go into my room, close the door and suffer alone. That way it seems I'm not bothering them.
You see, my wife has left me over this damn Beast after 12 years of marriage. So I am afraid that I will lose everyone else. I have moved in with my mother and brother.
But then, just today, my mother made a comment on how I spend too much time in my room and we ended up in an argument about that. I was being sensitive to them (so I thought) but that even is not good enough it seems.......there has to be a better way. This sucks......don't know how much more I can take.
Brings that old song to mind "One Day at a Time"....maybe that's the key. I know that there are others out there in the world that suffer daily. The difference is that they are dealing with a "known" disease and they get treatment without a fight or doubt in there word. This really sucks, man. Hold on, hold on I tell myself. But I can't help but think if I could just bury myself in a hole and never come out, then it would be better. My intelligence tells me that this is not true, but you just get tired of the same old game day in and day out....you know?
Anyway, I have you guys. You ALWAYS understand and I am thankful for that.
Peace,
Brad