Posted by Mike B (65.35.86.125) on July 18, 2001 at 18:43:12:
In Reply to: On the Pad and the clock is now ticking... posted by Mike B on July 18, 2001 at 14:19:24:
Hey guys and gals,
I am happy to report that I am still alive and kicking. :) I did not mean to bug anyone or post stuff promoting hallucinogenics and all. I was alone though and I was trying to stay peppy. The attitude going in is what is most important. So, If I offended anyone, I am sorry.
But. From one Space Ranger to another, it was a pretty heavy experience. Not something for the faint of heart to try. Not too sure if I can or will do that again. I'm getting too old for that kind of stuff :) So, here is what I've got to say about it all.
I'm not too sure that I would recommend that to everyone. About halfway through, I started getting the symptoms of an impending CH. Nose running, eyes watering, face hurting, some minor pains in my head. Looked in the mirror and yep. Horner's syndrome looking right back. Right pupil was way dialated (of course :) and the other was constricted to a pinpoint. Classic stuff. I was pretty scared. I was very scared. I mean, hell, why can't that son-of-a-bitch just leave me alone? Especially at a time like that??
I am still CH'n but it is kind of strange. I have all the normal symptom's and they are coming and going as usual. Except the pain seems to be fluctuating rather wildly. At times, it is a 8 or so and at other just a niggling little twinge or two. I am pretty upset because I had high hopes for this treatment (Though, it could still help. I have to wait and see. Will let all know if it helped as time goes by).
Sigh. It is too early to say, but, I just don't know what to think. I cried pretty bad when the CH hit me during all of that. It was quite upsetting and was exactly what I was afraid of. Though, in all fairness, it was not too terrible. Just freaked me out and hurt and broke my spirits a bit.
Anyway, I appreciate those who did take the time to post me during all of that. I was performing a little EVA though and could not get online for awhile. But, as I said. Now I remember why I swore off of that kind of stuff. I ate a few cheeze puffs earlier and those are some seriously strange objects. Kinda like finding an old slug that has been in the sun until it is dried to a crisp and sprinkling some cheese powder over it and popping it in your mouth. Crunch. Yeeack! LOL!
BTW, I hope that you guys will not think that I am a druggy or something. I absolutely hate drugs and pushers and all of that. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You all will never ever know how much I hate all of that stuff because I probably won't tell you guys about it (very painful and personal stuff). I would never have tried that except that I was feeling very desperate. I had read of the good results others have had and I thought, hey, I don't have much money and I can't afford the proper meds and stuff and maybe I could be like that too. No CH's. No pain. No more emberassment for awhile. Ah, hell. So, I feel kind of weird now. A little emberassed because I did all of this openly. In front of everyone. But it was an honest effort coming from a good place. Sigh.
I reckon I'm going to get offline for awhile. I am tired and hurtin and kind of bummed out.
And hey, Pinky, in all fairness. I probably did not take enough to get the expected results. But, it was enough for me. I hate feeling out of control in my own mind and that was close enough for me. However, I respectfully thank you for your help and encouragement and I love ya bro.
I hope everyone else is doing OK. You are all in my prayers. PFD's to ya all.
Love, Michael B