Posted by Judy H on April 25, 1999 at 18:52:49:
I have had CH off and on for 9 years now, and almost
continuously for 2.
Its not the stabbing pain that really gets me. Oh, it
hurts like hell but I've learnt to cope with pain,
(I've had gall stones and endometriosis). You fill
yourself up with codeine and paracetamol, close your
eyes and go somewhere else deep inside your mind.
But waking in the morning and feeling the dull ache
thats there 4 days in 5, and knowing its going to hit
at least 5 times today ..... wondering will I get
another 3 hour one ..... feeling too sore to wash my
hair and knowing the only attractive feature I have
looks like **** .... knowing my colleagues are
gossiping about me "skiving off again"... sitting in
a pub in Ireland knowing I can't touch the guiness or
the whiskey or even sing ... no blue vein cheese, no
garlic and no sex .... knowing it could go on like
this for decades.
Its like the drip, drip, drip of water on a stone.
I am so weary. I want my life back.
No else knows what it is like but you. Thank you for
being there