Posted by Gus on March 22, 1999 at 05:15:18:
In Reply to: suicide and other stray thoughts posted by brianj on March 22, 1999 at 02:20:09:
Hey brother,
hang in there. Those idle thoughts used to go through my head too. I got scared as hell.
I been dealing with these things for 22yrs. it's just been within the last 6 that i've been going to the Doc for them. I went to the Dr. yrs ago but they just gave me meds that made me miserable so I quit going. Finally they got so bad I got scared . . . .real scared. thats when I went back to the Doc. By that time I new what I had and had to tell the Dr. but he listened and gave me Imitrex . . . . that stuff is a life saver. but you can take only so much of that stuff too.
What I do now Brian, when theCH gets away on me is reach down into the depths of my soul and pull out one more day, paint it with sunshine. Sometimes it turns blood-red with pain but I seem to remember that bag has another day in it for me and I can start all over again.
Besides who's gonna feed these five kids I got running around here. .. . .. they are a joy in themselves.
Gus