Posted by Jonathan on March 17, 1999 at 07:38:50:
Hi everyone,
Sorry about this but I just need to vent.. I have just started dating
someone again and am feeling a little unsure of whether or not I can face
letting myself fall in love again. I was in a long term relationship with
someone before and ended up loosing them after I ended up chronic for
over a year. Some of you might remember me from back then. I/it
wasn't pretty.. Anyway. I'm not sure how to handle this. I am beginning
to fall again and I'm frightened that when/if my clusters come back again
it's going to destroy my relationship again. I know ultimately I can do
nothing as I can't predict the future, so I should just live the moment, but
I want to plan for the future and I want my relationship to work, but I
can't face the idea of destroying everything because I have this unfair
condition.. I'm not sure I'm looking for any answers here, I guess I
know what I should do.. Just live for now and if its meant to be, it's
meant to be. Right.... :-) Yep I know.. But that doesn't stop me from
being afraid of losing all over again.
Thanks for being here.. Sorry just needed to vent.
Hope you have pain free days and someone to support you through hard
times.
Jonathan.