Posted by Tracy (212.159.21.159) on July 01, 2000 at 18:03:25:
In Reply to: can't keep up with posted by Paula on June 30, 2000 at 15:13:21:
Hi Paula!
Take it from someone whose tried to be the perfect everything: wife, mother, daughter, career woman and friend......it can't be done. You cannot please all of the people all of the time. Throw CH into the equation and you're already running behind. I nearly killed myself this week because I just couldn't cope anymore.
Your kids will understand. I'm now taking the time to play with Beth and joke around with her. Granted my attacks are lessening, but I made a deal with myself to keep it going even when the cycle starts big time again (which I know it will). All I'm going to say from now on is sod it if all the housework isn't done, or I have to work late in the evening after she's gone to bed. I'm going to spend more time with HER, and not all my time working. I felt a complete drudge.....and I HATED it! I refused to carry on like that. The CH is the killer, but you don't have to let it be.
We are here for you, and speaking as a Mum of one, your kids WILL understand. They LOVE you SOO much, so long as they have you that's all they want, I'm sure.
I know you think we don't get a long (although I seriously can't remember why), but if you EVER want to talk about anything that worries you, or even if it's just a chat to say how's the weather, I am here as a friend for you. Whatever you say, no matter how chatty or personal, it will go NO further than me. I PROMISE.
But PLEASE Paula, give up on the ideal. Just by coping with CH you are giving your kids a VERY good role model. You may not think you're coping, but the fact that you haven't tried to end it shows just how strong you really are. Your kids respect that and love you for it. Plus, I bet away from the CH you're a brill Mum, they will look past how you are with an attack and see you as you are without. However brief those times are.
I appreciate what TerryS is trying to do. He tries to inspire us to cope with our ch and make huge successes of our lives, with God's help. But sometimes the inspiration leaves those of us trying to make our lives work in the real world (whether Christians, Muslims, etc or not) feel like we're failing big time. Not only our families and those around us....but, more importantly, ourselves.
You are NOT failing.....you're a brilliant person, a wonderful Mum AND you're coping with CH. That makes you a mega success in my book. To me you ARE the person in the poem.
Take care and God bless,
Tracy