Posted by drummer (209.105.134.183) on September 29, 1999 at 06:52:36:
In Reply to: Memory Loss, Denial and Clusters posted by Bill McCuistion on September 29, 1999 at 03:20:04:
I believe I understand the point of your post. I have read that some human beings can block certain hideous, torturous events of their life from their memory.
I can still remember my very first Cluster attack from 15 years ago. I thought it was a brain tumor because the pain was so incredibly torturous. I can’t remember the second or third attacks though. I can remember the longest Cluster attack that I had. It lasted 3 hours. I was single at the time. It started at 2am and lasted until 5am. I had no medication to abort the attack. I’m still not quite sure how I made it through that attack with out hurting or killing myself because suicide did cross my mind at the time. It was awful. I hope I never have a 3-hour Cluster attack again.
I’m fairly certain that I will have another Cluster attack though. Being chronic for the past 15 years makes me think that these attacks won’t stop anytime too soon. Being able to remember past attacks helps me realize that I will be able to cope and handle future attacks. I’ve been lucky enough to have found a good Neurologist so I don’t anticipate having to endure another 3-hour Cluster attack ever again. But if I do, I have the memory of knowing that I will be able to handle it.