Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.174) on September 22, 1999 at 09:19:28:
Whew! I am on sleeping pills with no sleep for third night in a row - not a wink. Several hardcore clusters though. Fever reached 102, but is back down to 100. Been throwing up hard half the night,hallucinating bad, not sure if it is the neurontin or ambien doing it. I feel miserable as can be.
Last night I got to talk to a few CHeads in the chatroom, which was nice. Talked with Dawners, John B, Gore2424, and Van. I had to leave though - due to a freakin 10+ clusterf#@k. As usual, can't do anything I want to. Wishing for the damn o2. It's a 50/50 thing but hey - thats better than just suffering it out. I have nothing to deal with pain or abort - so I just ride em out and suffer.Talk about things that sucketh mightily.
Feel like I've been ran over with a mack truck or something. Started taking the methylcobalamin again only to have my sinuses get worse. Needless to say, I stopped again. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I HATE THIS! RRRRAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i FEEL LIKE i'M LOSING MY MIND. I keep seeing things move, it is messing with me bigtime.its either lack of sleep, neurontin or ambien, or just the cold and fever. I don't know what the hell it is but I CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS. I can remember fearing death, now I'm begging for it. would love to sit and whine all day,as I know so many come to this board just see my sorry a$$ (yeah right, as if) but my stupid f#@king head is starting back up again. This is the third night of this crap. I cant take much more either. Would rather give judge judy a massage for eternity than deal with this crap much longer.
I have reached a verdict your honor - THIS SUCKS!!!!!!........Carl D