Posted by lc bob (152.166.237.170) on July 05, 1999 at 20:39:30:
In Reply to: Sorry I Dont Get It!!!! posted by Linda B on July 05, 1999 at 02:49:47:
hi LB,
for me, it's fear.
fear of addiction. i have an addictive personality. i smoke. i'm sure i'd be alcoholic if i liked the taste of alcohol. i've eaten 2 ham sandwiches and a hostess cupcake for lunch since they slaughtered the first hog. what if the drugs work "too good"? will i eat it like candy to stay out of the house of pain?
fear of having no more "last resort". the imitrex goes everywhere with me. my Linus blanket. but as i'm piping water down my throat directly from the faucet, twisting my neck and back, and doing every nonchemical thing i can to dodge the pain, i guess it's sort of comforting to know the imitrex is there if nothing else works. the last resort.
fear of failure. if i take it ... what if it doesn't work? i know that's not rational. so i rationalize.
fear of becomming dependent and having an insurance company decide against it.
fear of masking the cause. i agree with Bob Johnson down there that we need to find the physical cause. but i'm afraid the pain killers, vaso-ratensnaters, muscle relaxers, herbs, even water - mask that physical cause.
fear of missing a solution. this is what attracts me to the neck muscle thing. i think i can identify body positions and exercises that both worsen and allievate the pain. drummer laughs at me when i tell him i believe there are men walking around who've had these damned things and figured out a way to stop them without drugs (of course, these would all be males - cuz they never went to a doctor [g]).
fear of finding a godsend drug that doesn't work the next time. ample documentation of this phenominon on the board.
enough. lotz of other fears - but this is too long. i understand your question. you make a good point. the drugs just scare me. i don't presume to judge anyone's choice of how to fight the dragon. i guess for me it's the difference between shooting the evil beast from a distance and having his wretched neck in my white-knuckled hands as he draws his last perverted breath.
i am many,
-lcb